But Wait, There's More! As Seen On TV Junkie, Part II

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By MotherHubber

Billy Mays, Here!

There's something about Billy. . .
There's something about Billy. . .

He's loud. He's pushy. He yells all the time. He bears an almost uncanny resemblance to my ex-husband. So why is it that I just love Billy Mays? I'm not sure. I guess it's sort of like driving by an accident. You know you shouldn't slow down and look, but you do it every single time. You can't help it. Or maybe it's the sexy facial hair. I'm not sure. I will tell you this, though: if Billy's selling, I'm buying.

As you know, I am an As Seen On TV Junkie. In fact, my family and I have road tested so many As Seen On TV products, that I needed to split this hub into two installments.

Please click here for Confessions of An As Seen On TV Junkie, Part I:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Confessions-of-an-Infomercial-Junkie

But wait, there's more!

If you enjoyed those reviews, please read on, fellow Junkies!  There is more where they came from!

See the castle on the front? Not even.

Moon Sand: OMG What a Mess

Attention parents: Do not, under any circumstance, purchase this crappy product for your child. If you think finger paints, Play-Doh, and/or mud pies are a mess, Moon Sand will have you crying in your corn flakes.

This is one of those products that you just KNOW is not going to deliver. It represents so well on TV - the happy, clean-looking children mold the sand into intricate shapes that pop out of the molds with ease. That is just not the way this stuff works.

Moon Sand is some strange plastic-based substance that not only crumbles apart instantly when handled, but it gets absolutely EVERYWHERE. I am sure that if I checked my ass right now, there would be some bright blue Moon Sand up the crack, and we bought this product two summers ago.

No matter how much the anklebiters beg you, don't buy this. You'll be cleaning it up for weeks, and it will bore the kids in a matter of minutes. Just not worth it.

Check Out Those Tomatoes!

Debbie Meyer Green Bags Are Awesome!

 I don't know who the heck Debbie Meyer is, but her Green Bags rock!  These were purcahsed as part of my son's 5th birthday present (which also included the Aqua Globes and Buxton Organizer - please don't ask).  He was so excited to do his own side-by-side comparison, carefully placing a bunch of bananas into one of these magic "green bags" and then leaving another bunch of bananas out on a plate, exposed to the air.

I'll be damned.  The things worked!  After a couple of days, the Green Bagged bananas looked new and unblemished, and the ones not in a Green Bag looked like old-lady liver spotted hands.  It was amazing!  Food actually DID stay fresher, longer. 

On a side note, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine recently, and the topic of these Debbie Meyer Green Bags came up.  She laughed and said she had bought some, also. 

"I've had the same head of iceberg lettuce in my crisper drawer for like 3 weeks, and it's not slimy yet.  Should I be worried?"  Um, not sure if I would eat that, but the bags do work. Try them and see!

Beautiful AND Functional!

The Amazing Aqua Globes
The Amazing Aqua Globes

Aqua Globes

Another product that works surprisingly well are the Aqua Globes. These things are cool, and I love the concept. You simply fill up the glass globe with water, then insert it into the potting soil of your plant. You don't have to water your plants for like a week, it does it for you.

The only drawbacks to the Aqua Globe are:  a) sometimes I forget to refill them, and b) potting soil can get stuck in the thin neck opening of the Globe. Not a big deal, really. I just get a coat hanger and push it out in order to refill with more water. Still, a little more inconvenient than just watering your plant the old fashioned way.

These are pretty to look at, though. Also, if you're going on a trip for a few days, they are not a bad idea for keeping your plants watered. Plus they are hand-blown. Insert jokes here.

Benda-what?

Click thumbnail to view full-size

Benda-Waste-Of-Money

 Unless your child is spatially or artistically gifted, this is not really the product for him or her.  Bendaroos are little bendable sticks coated with some mysterious waxy substance that attracts lint, crumbs, and hair the moment they are removed from the package.  Worse yet, your child will have you open them, and then stare blinkingy at you, waiting for you to reproduce the cool butterfly or penguin or race car that the kids made with these things on TV.  Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not a sculptress, so this is no small task for me.  After my kids got bored watching mommy make a snail for the 50th time, we just threw these in the trash.  Sticky, odd smelling, and not that fun.  Save your money.  Give your kids a couple of wooden spoons and permission to dig in the back yard for an hour, with the promise of baking their mud pies for dessert.  Cheaper and way more fun.

Act Now!

 That's all we have time for today.  Please tune in again next time, as I am sure there will be more reviews as my boyfriend Billy Mays touts the latest gadgets and gizmos aimed at suckers like me who always ponder the "What If It Really Worked" factor. 

I'd love to hear your "As Seen On TV" or other Infomercial testimonials!  Please feel free to share in the comment box below.  And if you act now, I'll also throw in a free Snuggie! (Limited time offer; restrictions apply). :-)

frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 3 years ago

Mother - please buy, wear then publish your reviews on that funky looking Slim N' Fit doodaa. It looks kinda cool. If buying that can give me a hot looking body - I'm having one. Also - I'm lazy and believe that the only training you should ever involve yourself in is related to potty training. Kids. Animals. Oh - and men.

Much hublove - the frog.

Rated up BTW. I love infomercials :)

LornaDane profile image

LornaDane 3 years ago

Love the moon sand review. I think I've found this years Christmas presents for my little nieces and nephews.

Triplet Mom profile image

Triplet Mom Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago

I am so glad that I said no to the moon sand when my kids were begging me for them. Wow I might have to try the green bags though, I am always throwing out bad fruits and vegies.

C.Ferreira profile image

C.Ferreira 3 years ago

So far i agree with everything you have said about the products...but I cannot condone the sale of the Snuggie! What a crock!

Listen up folks....go to your bathroom, grab your bath robe off the hook, put it on backwards and you've already got a Snuggie! TERRIBLE INVENTION.

On another note...I wrote a very similar hub a while back...check it out... http://hubpages.com/_CFRefers/hub/Im-An-Infomercia

I also do a weekly Hub on the show Pitchmen starring Billy Mays! Like you, if he's selling, I'm usually buying!

Candie V profile image

Candie V Level 4 Commenter 3 years ago

I wonder if Billy Mays yells like that at home..announcing what is for dinner or next on TV.. I even wonder if he watches his own infomercials. Who even came up with the word "infomercial" It's descriptive, but sounds shammy. Like the Shammy-wow!

LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 3 years ago

fantastic, I loved it!

KiKi 3 years ago

You're right! He does look like M.C.!!! HA! (And between you & me, I've totally been wanting those aqua globes...)

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    TVTopTen profile image

    TVTopTen 23 months ago

    My mother-in-law loves the green bags. She buys them and uses them like no other. They do work tough. I know because she always buys vegetables but never eats them, so they sit in the fridge forever. Yet they stay fresh!

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